For many years, I've had this belief that children can benefit from lessons in resiliency. What do I mean when I say, "resiliency?" Well, what do we all need to be strong, resilient, happy and able to swiftly bounce back from negative events? To be able to say, "No," to peer pressure.
What comes to mind first is self esteem; if you love yourself, no one can tell you you're less than or discourage you from following your dreams. The next lesson, in my mind, would be empathy; if you can feel what it's like to walk in someone else's shoes, you probably are less inclined to bully others or want to start wars in the future. Next on this list would be gratitude; if you are grateful for what you have, you won't tend to envy others or allow yourself to become a victim of self pity. Next, I would add relaxation ie learning how to de-stress to better cope with life's stressors.
Self Esteem
Empathy
Gratitude
Relaxation
If we are going to continue to improve on this earthly experience, we need to start with the children; teach them the coping skills they will need for resilience and the encouragement to love their neighbors to avoid war and violence in the future. I would recommend meditation, yoga, positive psychology, mindfulness, law of attraction, tapping, etc.
But who will teach the children to be better than us? It would be great to have these lessons in schools and some schools are incorporating some of these philosophies into their classrooms. But to go a step beyond academia, this task would fall on the primary caregivers, parents, and more specifically mothers of the next generation. I feel that this is the Era of the Feminine; it is up to the women, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, caregivers including male caregivers tapping into their "feminine side" to indoctrinate our next group of little humans in the importance of love and peace.
Do you think there is a demand for such a parenting class? What is the most important lesson that we need to impart to our young ones?
Lisa
Monday, August 22, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
FEAR AND "DIS-EASE"
Fear is the usual feeling when life is uncertain. Unfortunately, it feels horrible and lowers your mood, vibration and possibly your immune system. Research is now revealing that feelings of stress, fear and anxiety can contribute to medical problems which can also be called, "Dis-ease." As a licensed mental health counselor, I see clients who experience unwanted feelings like these quite often and speak of them in our sessions. How does discussing this help a client?
Research shows that a good rapport between a clinician and a client is very beneficial and results in hope which often extinguishes fear. This can raise mood/vibration and facilitate the processing of feelings and the ability to create a new, more positive and empowered story. This optimistic vibration facilitates the achievement of good mental/medical health. In this frame of mind, it is also easier to deconstruct events and understand which buttons are being pushed.
The impetus for writing on this topic today, came from a conversation about a "healer" in Brazil who calls himself, John of God. Then he turned up in the book I'm reading, "Co-creating at Its Best" by Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks. This book is a transcript of a conversation between Wayne Dyer and a "wise, collective consciousness," Abraham Hicks.
In the book, when Wayne told Abraham the story about this man who psychically healed his cancer, Abraham told him that he healed himself; that John of God allowed him to relax long enough to allow this vibration of self healing. I've heard that when someone is using Reiki to heal someone, they are helping their client to heal themselves.
So, is a mental health counseling session similar to a Reiki or John of God session? During therapy, can we learn to separate from our fears, raise our vibrations and relax enough to heal ourselves? Is your therapist helping you to heal yourself?
Let me know what you think!
Lisa
Research shows that a good rapport between a clinician and a client is very beneficial and results in hope which often extinguishes fear. This can raise mood/vibration and facilitate the processing of feelings and the ability to create a new, more positive and empowered story. This optimistic vibration facilitates the achievement of good mental/medical health. In this frame of mind, it is also easier to deconstruct events and understand which buttons are being pushed.
The impetus for writing on this topic today, came from a conversation about a "healer" in Brazil who calls himself, John of God. Then he turned up in the book I'm reading, "Co-creating at Its Best" by Wayne Dyer and Esther Hicks. This book is a transcript of a conversation between Wayne Dyer and a "wise, collective consciousness," Abraham Hicks.
In the book, when Wayne told Abraham the story about this man who psychically healed his cancer, Abraham told him that he healed himself; that John of God allowed him to relax long enough to allow this vibration of self healing. I've heard that when someone is using Reiki to heal someone, they are helping their client to heal themselves.
So, is a mental health counseling session similar to a Reiki or John of God session? During therapy, can we learn to separate from our fears, raise our vibrations and relax enough to heal ourselves? Is your therapist helping you to heal yourself?
Let me know what you think!
Lisa
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Selfishness VS Selflessness; When Kindness Turns Into People Pleasing and Co-Dependent Behavior
"You don't have to light yourself on fire to keep others warm!"
Through synchronicity with my clients, similar themes usually arise each week. This week it was the desire to please others. Of course, it's nice to want to please others and/or do nice things for people; that really isn't what I'm talking about. I think when we lose a sense of ourselves and our desires, we get into trouble. Making other people's moods more important than our own is codependent behavior. When we have limiting beliefs that we are not deserving and become selfless, people lose respect and sometimes take advantage.
First of all, unless we are speaking of a dependent child, we are not responsible for others' happiness; each of us has a specific job in life and it is learning how to make ourselves happy and hopefully finding one's life's purpose. So why do so many people feel the need to ignore their wants/dreams to appease someone else?
Sometimes it's the message you got growing up ie "selfishness is evil", "your parents are always right," "you are not allowed to disappoint others especially your parents", and "just suck it up."
First of all, some selfishness can be a good thing; if you do not choose yourself first, you will stuff your feelings and say yes when you mean no. This can and will affect your mental and physical health and when you're not healthy, you cannot help anyone.
If you disappoint someone, it is up to them to learn how to cope with disappointment; it's their stuff and we all need to learn this for a happy life. The hardest one for many is disappointing your parents. When growing up you are constantly told to respect them and take their word as gospel; it feels very uncomfortable when you become an adult and this shift in perspective happens.
I would recommend to come from love instead of ego when trying this. Just advise these hopefully well meaning people, "Don't worry; I got this," or "I have to say no this time," and you will find a sense of relief to act as your authentic self and follow your own guidance/bliss/judgment.
The answer is inside of you. Sit quietly long enough and you will hear it.
Lisa
Through synchronicity with my clients, similar themes usually arise each week. This week it was the desire to please others. Of course, it's nice to want to please others and/or do nice things for people; that really isn't what I'm talking about. I think when we lose a sense of ourselves and our desires, we get into trouble. Making other people's moods more important than our own is codependent behavior. When we have limiting beliefs that we are not deserving and become selfless, people lose respect and sometimes take advantage.
First of all, unless we are speaking of a dependent child, we are not responsible for others' happiness; each of us has a specific job in life and it is learning how to make ourselves happy and hopefully finding one's life's purpose. So why do so many people feel the need to ignore their wants/dreams to appease someone else?
Sometimes it's the message you got growing up ie "selfishness is evil", "your parents are always right," "you are not allowed to disappoint others especially your parents", and "just suck it up."
First of all, some selfishness can be a good thing; if you do not choose yourself first, you will stuff your feelings and say yes when you mean no. This can and will affect your mental and physical health and when you're not healthy, you cannot help anyone.
If you disappoint someone, it is up to them to learn how to cope with disappointment; it's their stuff and we all need to learn this for a happy life. The hardest one for many is disappointing your parents. When growing up you are constantly told to respect them and take their word as gospel; it feels very uncomfortable when you become an adult and this shift in perspective happens.
I would recommend to come from love instead of ego when trying this. Just advise these hopefully well meaning people, "Don't worry; I got this," or "I have to say no this time," and you will find a sense of relief to act as your authentic self and follow your own guidance/bliss/judgment.
The answer is inside of you. Sit quietly long enough and you will hear it.
Lisa
Monday, August 8, 2016
How To Tell Intrusive Thoughts to "Shut Up!"
I have mentioned the Law of Attraction in some of my blog entries. Whenever I hear experts give advice/instruction on how to use LOA successfully, I can't help but think about people who suffer with intrusive thoughts.
Many of my clients come in complaining that they have these absurd thoughts that come into their heads and cause much distress. Sometimes it's a "what if" type thought ie "What if something bad or catastrophic happens" when there is nothing indicating any chance of this scenario happening. Other intrusive thoughts can be the exact opposite of what the client is about ie fear of killing someone that they love, killing themselves but not really desiring this outcome, fear of doing something that they would never ever do.
These compulsive thoughts can be a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But what if we are attracting things by our thoughts? If we continuously worry about something will it come true? Then we can say "see, I told you!" and have it manifest as a self fulfilling prophecy? What is the cause of this and what can be done?
As I've mentioned before, we all have difficulty changing thought patterns and habits. Evidently, when our brains are "looping" in the same pattern, it is because our synapses are becoming "addicted" to that pattern. This is why it's so challenging to change a habit/pattern of thought/behavior. I believe that people with intrusive thoughts and OCD may start out with these patterns due to anxiety and then they become more and more prevalent as the synapses enjoy the consistency of these thoughts and behaviors.
I have created a coping method for any intrusive thoughts or patterns/habits that you want to change. I will name it the "Shut Up Mantra." I have a couple of clients that have named their's, "Harry,"
Whenever they have an unwanted, intrusive thought, they say, "Shut up, Harry!" This not only makes them laugh but also reminds them to change their thinking right away.
So whenever your inner voice says, "What if the house burns down while I'm at work," or "Check the lock again (for the 5th time), or "What if I die today," ETC, just say "Shut up, (choose a name)_______!" Then immediately go to a positive thought or behavior to distract yourself from the unwanted thought. Your synapses will eventually give up on that pattern and your brain will begin to loop in a positive direction instead of the old negative way.
Let me know if this S.U.M.helps anyone!
Lisa
Many of my clients come in complaining that they have these absurd thoughts that come into their heads and cause much distress. Sometimes it's a "what if" type thought ie "What if something bad or catastrophic happens" when there is nothing indicating any chance of this scenario happening. Other intrusive thoughts can be the exact opposite of what the client is about ie fear of killing someone that they love, killing themselves but not really desiring this outcome, fear of doing something that they would never ever do.
These compulsive thoughts can be a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. But what if we are attracting things by our thoughts? If we continuously worry about something will it come true? Then we can say "see, I told you!" and have it manifest as a self fulfilling prophecy? What is the cause of this and what can be done?
As I've mentioned before, we all have difficulty changing thought patterns and habits. Evidently, when our brains are "looping" in the same pattern, it is because our synapses are becoming "addicted" to that pattern. This is why it's so challenging to change a habit/pattern of thought/behavior. I believe that people with intrusive thoughts and OCD may start out with these patterns due to anxiety and then they become more and more prevalent as the synapses enjoy the consistency of these thoughts and behaviors.
I have created a coping method for any intrusive thoughts or patterns/habits that you want to change. I will name it the "Shut Up Mantra." I have a couple of clients that have named their's, "Harry,"
Whenever they have an unwanted, intrusive thought, they say, "Shut up, Harry!" This not only makes them laugh but also reminds them to change their thinking right away.
So whenever your inner voice says, "What if the house burns down while I'm at work," or "Check the lock again (for the 5th time), or "What if I die today," ETC, just say "Shut up, (choose a name)_______!" Then immediately go to a positive thought or behavior to distract yourself from the unwanted thought. Your synapses will eventually give up on that pattern and your brain will begin to loop in a positive direction instead of the old negative way.
Let me know if this S.U.M.helps anyone!
Lisa
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