Emotional Buttons from Our Past

We are all products of our childhoods and what has happened to us up until now.  I think we discussed this fact during my rant on forgiveness and empathy.  Anyway, our memories of past events can leave us with "buttons" that are easily pushed.  For example, the child whose teacher told him he was stupid might have developed a "hot button" about his intellect.  Even though he now realizes that he is an intelligent adult, when someone calls him stupid today, it presses that button that causes emotional feelings and possible defensiveness and self doubt.

So what can be done now that we realize that we are covered in these unwanted buttons?  I call it the BLT.  There is no bacon or anything edible involved, just more mindfulness.  Sorry, I'm hungry too.

When something happens that you think shouldn't bother you as much as it does, it's probably one of these buttons from your past.  If you are ready to work on navigating around these buttons more easily, try my BLT Method.

B is obviously for Button; take a step back and say, "Why is this bugging me so much?"  It's not such a big deal!

L is for Lesson; once you get insight into your buttons, you can go from button to lesson pretty fast ie "what have I learned from this, what am I learning from this or is it possible that I am going to learn something from this in the future?"  The fictional person in the example above may have learned he is smart and that teacher was inappropriate.

T is for Triumph (or Transition); this is the hardest part of the BLT because I am again asking you to transition to thinking something positive during an event that you don't like and don't want.  I believe that we can triumph over the negativity and train our brains to go more and more quickly to a positive thought ie what you want/like, what you're grateful for, or just play the "Wouldn't it be nice if....?" game to prevent yourself from going down that slippery slope of negativity.

Some people have very deep seated buttons that may require reprocessing via EMDR.  (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing).  I have performed this procedure at least 50 times since my EMDR training and the success rate is astonishing.  It is not just for severe trauma.  I call it "The Button Eraser!"

Tomorrow we'll talk about zippers.  Just kidding!  I'll explain EMDR more fully in my next blog.

Be well,

Lisa