Victimization

Happy Summer Solstice!  Since there is a full moon on this first day of Summer for the first time in 70 years, the "energy" experts have explained that the atmosphere may feel intense.  This could lead to misunderstandings and generalizations.  I feel that this is the perfect time to talk about victimization.

Feeling like a victim is not a pleasant sensation.  So why do so many people take this role when interpreting their world?  How does someone get into this pattern of  "everyone is out to wrong me?" Why do people continually want others to judge who is the bad guy in a situation?

I think that one thing that people of this mindset have in common is their world view; do you believe that man is inherently good or evil?  Yes, we are all capable of "good and bad" behavior but do you always expect the worst from people?  Do you take things personally and assume things that could really be limiting beliefs?  This could lead to misunderstandings and unkind words. Then, when someone does appear to have "wronged" you, do you say, "See, I told you so?"  This can become a self fulfilling prophecy.  (and if Law of Attraction is true, this is what will be attracted!)

If you are identifying with this blog, please read, "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz.  I don't think that I will spoil much by telling you what these agreements are.  The first one is "Be Impeccable with your Words."  Words can hurt or help and are more powerful than you realize so please treat others as you would like to be treated.  (The Golden Rule, remember?)

The second agreement is "Don't Assume Anything!"  You know the saying that assuming makes an "ass out of u and me."  Well, I think this is true.  When we assume what the other person means, we don't take the time to disclose our feelings and give them the chance to explain their true meaning.  So many unnecessary arguments have begun this way.

The third agreement is "Don't Take Anything Personally!"  Let's face it, others' comments are most likely "their stuff" and coming from their world view.  I'm sure you've also seen others complain about your behavior which in fact it is their own behavior they are describing ie projection.  It is preferable to learn how to separate from their view and be mindful of where they are coming from.  Avoid allowing others to define you; you are giving away your power when you don't know your own self worth.

The fourth agreement is "Do your Best with the First Three Agreements!"  No one is perfect and we may not always get it right, but if you know your own self worth, you won't become defensive and feel victimized over and over again.  Hopefully, you will also be ok with being your authentic self ie avoid saying, "yes" when you really mean "no."  If you fear you will be rejected if you disappoint others and do a 360 on your opinion if it doesn't match someone else's, it shows a people pleasing personality and a diminished sense of self.

We may have to talk about "Codependency" tomorrow.

Ciao for now,

Lisa